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Information Researched By: Sister Anonymous
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“The Black Male Perspective on Intimacy”
By: Ebony S. Muhammad, Certified Thanatologist
How did you get started with this research study?
It initially began while I was taking my Research Methods course, I am in the process of completing my Masters degree, and I had to choose a research study to deconstruct. I chose an article entitled, “The Male Perception of Intimacy”, by a few students at
I took it upon myself to conduct a research study on Black men, here in American, and of various backgrounds including religious and spiritual beliefs. I wanted to focus on the Black male because they have such a potent and unique history in this country which has contributed to their practice, experience, and view of intimacy as it pertains to a male: female relationship. No one can deny that slavery has taken a major toll on the Black man and woman and how we relate to one another especially in interpersonal and intimate relationships. Even in social settings, there is a tone of friction and animosity that someone from another culture or ethnic background would find puzzling.
I successfully interviewed 14 Black men from single and double-parent households, with various relationship statuses (married, divorced, single, engaged), with different religious and spiritual backgrounds (Muslim-Nation of Islam, Christian, Moorish Science Temple, Nation of Gods & Earths), and with a vast array of experience within male:female relationships. Each gave their own definition of intimacy; they shared how they believe society influences or once influenced their view, and what they each need in order to feel safe with a woman enough to open up.
What was your purpose in accomplishing this study?
I wanted to get to the root of why intimacy, true intimacy, is such a scarce practice among Black people. I chose to study the Black male to challenge the stigma and misconception that men don’t feel and are not sensitive to relationships in the healthy sense. I wasn’t looking to prove or disprove the stereotype that most women place on men. I wanted to find out WHY those stereotypes even exist. I wanted to accurately display the Black male experience or lack thereof regarding intimacy from childhood to adulthood, and I explored the lingering effects of slavery as well. I sought to exhibit what Black men deem as important to them and what needs they have regarding relationships with Black woman and how that is being communicated or achieved. My ultimate purpose was to find and report the truth.
One of the major lessons I learned is that men are much more compassionate and patient than what is being portrayed in the media and in society’s voice of what the Black man represents. These 14 brothers were so articulate and passionate in their expression as if they were longing for the opportunity to be heard. They displayed a level of emotion and sensitivity that I can recall thinking, “Will anyone believe me when I report what I am hearing”? It was such a profound and enlightening experience for me as a Black woman to be allowed into the minds of all of these brothers, who are in most cases still recovering from past experiences that were painful. I learned to appreciate the differences in how men express their emotions, which if one pays close attention, one will witness the emotions of men expressed on a daily basis. I have always been a little sister to the big brothers in my life and got a little bit of the “inside scoop”, but these brothers took me to another level of Black love and appreciation for them. There is most certainly a misunderstanding due to miscommunication among both the Black man and woman in America.
What are some different statements that were said?
When these brothers were asked to give their definition of intimacy and what comes to mind, this is what was conveyed, “Love and the action of showing someone love, caring, connecting emotionally and physically”, was one level of intimacy that was expressed. Others expressed, “Communication on a deeper and more personal level outside of a social atmosphere, and to make your mate feel wanted and needed as to project love more so than lust”, “Intimacy is to be compassionate”, “It means building a strong friendship by eliminating intimidation”, “Intimacy is sharing oneself spiritually, intellectually and physically. It is developing the nurturing nature of a relationship”, “Intimacy is the mental stimulation of the man and woman together; the thing that takes place before the bedroom action”, “The ability of a man and woman to elevate one another beyond sex”, “Trust, openness, honesty, and vulnerability”, “When you and your mate share a closeness that is unique to any other relationship”, and “When one’s soul is being satisfied”.
When they were asked about how society defines intimacy as it relates to masculinity, they responded that society defines intimacy as being “weak” and that men are not suppose to “feel”. These brothers also stated that society promotes masculinity in only the sexual sense. They stated that society sabotages relationships by emasculating the Black man and degrading the Black woman to be a sexual tool.
When they were asked about their past relationships that didn’t go well and the anxieties that they may have as a result, they stated that they need to feel as sense of safety and loyalty. They stated that their devotion to women is earned through her patience and understanding of him as a Black man and not what the world believes he is or should be.
Anything else you want to add?
For the record I would like to say that I only knew a few of these brothers personally in terms of being around them on a weekly basis. However, the majority of the participants lived in other cities and states, and I didn’t know them. A few of the participants responded to an update I posted online and volunteered to be a part of this study. These men were not hand-picked, nor did I exclude willing participants to project an illusion of “good men”…they are a reality. These results are authentic and rich with wisdom and guidance for not only Black women but for Black men all over who may feel unsure about what it means to be a Black man here in America. I pray that they too not join with the world in rejecting such Godly attributes, but that they now feel encouraged to embrace the side of themselves that is ultimately the Source of their Power.
Paris – It took about five nanoseconds for evangelical Pat Robertson’s video verdict on the causes of the Haiti earthquake to start making the rounds in France.
Mr. Robertson’s theory that Haitian slaves made a “pact with the devil” 200 years ago in order to free themselves from the hated clutches of Napoleon Bonaparte's regime – resulting in a curse that led to the destruction of much of Port-au-Prince and a massive loss of life in Tuesday's earthquake – got the usual chuckles of disbelief among local intelligentsia about American culture.
It was bad enough that he said the successful slave revolt came during the reign of "Napoleon III, or whatever" (the Haitian Revolution led by Francois-Dominique Toussaint L'ouverture was in fact completed in 1804 when Napoleon Bonaparte ruled France, 44 years before his nephew Napoleon III came to power). But here in Haiti’s former colonial master, talk about the Robertson “theory” clouds with myth an early if awkward chapter in self-determination: the Haitian slaves are considered the first to collectively and successfully overthrow their colonial masters. In this case, the French.
After the French revolution, in 1794, the 500,000 slaves brought from Africa to work Haiti's lucrative sugar and coffee plantations, were freed by decree. But Napoleon Bonaparte, seeking empire, wealth, and territory, tried re-enslave them in 1802.
Once slaves breathed the free air, they did not wish to return to their former status as drones or fodder for empire. Toussaint L'ouverture, a house slave whose father came from Africa, and whose master, Count de Breda, educated him – stepped up. Mr. L'ouverture’s reading of French enlightenment and revolutionary writers Mirabeau and Voltaire is thought to have been extensive. The slave revolt itself took place in the name of the values and ideals of the French revolution in many readings of history here.
Haiti had been “a hell on earth” for the slaves, writes Le Monde’s history specialist, Jerome Gautheret. “Each year, 50,000 slaves were brought to Haiti to compensate for the … terrible mortality among the slaves. In such a fragile society, order could only be precarious, based on terror and violence: the French Revolution shook it in an irreversible way. In Paris, while ‘Friends of the Blacks’ pled for civil equality for all free men and gradual emancipation of the slaves, a powerful colonial party [in Haiti] tried to maintain the status quo.”
Quoted Thursday on Salon.com, UCLA anthropologist Andrew Apter says the notion of a “pact with the devil” as behind the slave victory “is so absurd it is almost funny. This notion of a pact with the devil is basically an echo of an old colonial response to the successes of the 1790s Haitian revolution.”
The problem for Haiti is that if it was a hell on earth under slavery, it was also so after the slave revolt, French historians argue. Africans plucked and sent to Haiti to work under the lash and suddenly freed were not a model constituency for civil society. Haiti went from the largest sugar exporter in the world to chaos. “The plantations were deserted. The former slaves refused to work on the places they were enslaved,” Mr. Apter said.
An emerging understanding of Haiti during this time is of an island increasingly divided between the 30,000 to 40,000 mixed race former slaves, and the more recently arrived slaves from Africa.
UCLA’s Apter argues, “the reason Haiti is poor is because Europe imposed a blockade on trade after the slave revolt in 1804, and you have an extremely polarized class structure in which a few families stepped into the positions of the former colonial plantation owners. There has been a horrible cycle of plundering and autocracy within Haitian leadership.”
Follow the Global News Blog for updates on Haiti throughout the day.
- Near the end of the hit film "Avatar," the villain snarls at the hero, "How does it feel to betray your own race?" Both men are white — although the hero is inhabiting a blue-skinned, 9-foot-tall, long-tailed alien.
Strange as it may seem for a film that pits greedy, immoral humans against noble denizens of a faraway moon, "Avatar" is being criticized by a small but vocal group of people who allege it contains racist themes — the white hero once again saving the primitive natives.
Since the film opened to widespread critical acclaim three weeks ago, hundreds of blog posts, newspaper articles, tweets and YouTube videos have said things such as the film is "a fantasy about race told from the point of view of white people" and that it reinforces "the white Messiah fable."
The film's writer and director, James Cameron, says the real theme is about respecting others' differences.
In the film (read no further if you don't want the plot spoiled for you) a white, paralyzed Marine, Jake Sully, is mentally linked to an alien's body and set loose on the planet Pandora. His mission: persuade the mystic, nature-loving Na'vi to make way for humans to mine their land for unobtanium, worth $20 million per kilo back home.
Like Kevin Costner in "Dances with Wolves" and Tom Cruise in "The Last Samurai" or as far back as Jimmy Stewart in the 1950 Western "Broken Arrow," Sully soon switches sides. He falls in love with the Na'vi princess and leads the bird-riding, bow-and-arrow-shooting aliens to victory over the white men's spaceships and mega-robots.
Adding to the racial dynamic is that the main Na'vi characters are played by actors of color, led by a Dominican, Zoe Saldana, as the princess. The film also is an obvious metaphor for how European settlers in America wiped out the Indians.
Robinne Lee, an actress in such recent films as "Seven Pounds" and "Hotel for Dogs," said that "Avatar" was "beautiful" and that she understood the economic logic of casting a white lead if most of the audience is white.
But she said the film, which so far has the second-highest worldwide box-office gross ever, still reminded her of Hollywood's "Pocahontas" story — "the Indian woman leads the white man into the wilderness, and he learns the way of the people and becomes the savior."
"It's really upsetting in many ways," said Lee, who is black with Jamaican and Chinese ancestry. "It would be nice if we could save ourselves."
Annalee Newitz, editor-in-chief of the sci-fi Web site io9.com , likened "Avatar" to the recent film "District 9," in which a white man accidentally becomes an alien and then helps save them, and 1984's "Dune," in which a white man becomes an alien Messiah.
"Main white characters realize that they are complicit in a system which is destroying aliens, AKA people of color ... (then) go beyond assimilation and become leaders of the people they once oppressed," she wrote.
"When will whites stop making these movies and start thinking about race in a new way?" wrote Newitz, who is white.
Black film professor and author Donald Bogle said he can understand why people would be troubled by "Avatar," although he praised it as a "stunning" work.
"A segment of the audience is carrying in the back of its head some sense of movie history," said Bogle, author of "Toms, Coons, Mulattoes, Mammies & Bucks: An Interpretive History of Blacks in American Films."
Bogle stopped short, however, of calling the movie racist.
"It's a film with still a certain kind of distortion," he said. "It's a movie that hasn't yet freed itself of old Hollywood traditions, old formulas."
Writer/director Cameron, who is white, said in an e-mail to The Associated Press that his film "asks us to open our eyes and truly see others, respecting them even though they are different, in the hope that we may find a way to prevent conflict and live more harmoniously on this world. I hardly think that is a racist message."
There are many ways to interpret the art that is "Avatar."
What does it mean that in the final, sequel-begging scene, Sully abandons his human body and transforms into one of the Na'vi for good? Is Saldana's Na'vi character the real heroine because she, not Sully, kills the arch-villain? Does it matter that many conservatives are riled by what they call liberal environmental and anti-military messages?
Is Cameron actually exposing the historical evils of white colonizers? Does the existence of an alien species expose the reality that all humans are actually one race?
"Can't people just enjoy movies any more?" a person named Michelle posted on the Web site for Essence, the magazine for black women, which had 371 comments on a story debating the issue.
Although the "Avatar" debate springs from Hollywood's historical difficulties with race, Will Smith recently saved the planet in "I Am Legend," and Denzel Washington appears ready to do the same in the forthcoming "Book of Eli."
Bogle, the film historian, said that he was glad Cameron made the film and that it made people think about race.
"Maybe there is something he does want to say and put across" about race, Bogle said. "Maybe if he had a black hero in there, that point would have been even stronger."
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Jesse Washington covers race and ethnicity for The Associated Press.
By Louise Armitstead and Richard Spencer in Dubai
Published: 12:01AM GMT 28 Nov 2009
Paul Reynolds, head of Rothschild's advisory operations in the Middle East, was this week asked to work for the Dubai government's chief restructuring officer alongside Aidan Birkett of Deloitte, who was appointed on Wednesday.
The team is tasked with assessing the group's assets, which is likely to result in a large scale sell-off of assets as varied as the QE2 cruise liner; Turnberry, the golf course that hosted this year's Open Championship; and a raft of properties.
A spokesman for the Dubai department of finance confirmed that all options and asset sales would be considered, except for the DP World subsidiary that bought P&O, the British ports company. "I'm sure all of the assets of Dubai World will be reviewed," he said. "The QE2 is one of them. It's part of the restructuring process, though it's too early to say whether there's any sale in mind."
The neighbouring emirate of Abu Dhabi is seen as one of the main buyers of Dubai's assets. Last year when rumours about Dubai's debt problems first started, sources said Abu Dhabi had offered to buy Emirates but Dubai had so far refused to part with its flagship carrier.
Abu Dhabi is also said to be interested in Emaar, the property company that owns the Burj Dubai skyscraper, the Dubai Mall shopping centre, and Dubal, Dubai's aluminium company.
However, the assets in Dubai World are more likely to be sold first. The group's biggest problem area is thought to be Nakheel, its property arm that owns the Palms, the ambitious man-made islands. Nakheel also has two hotel chains, one of which owns the Turnberry Hotel.
Dubai World's venture capital arm, Istithmar, owns stakes in global assets including Barneys, the New York department store; Cirque du Soleil, the South African entrepreneur Sol Kerzner's hotel chain; and Standard Chartered bank. The company has also bought intoMGM Mirage, the Las Vegas gambling operation – even though gambling is banned in Dubai – and Troon Golf.
London properties include Adelphi on the Strand and the Grand Buildings in Trafalgar Square.
Rothschild was one of five banks working in recent months to help Dubai World meet its debt obligations. Deutsche Bank was the other lead adviser and they were supported by Citibank, JP Morgan and the Dubai Islamic Bank. When the standstill decision was taken on Wednesday, all the banks were stood down as the mandate had changed.
Rothschild and Deloittes declined to comment.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/businesslatestnews/6673264/Rothschild-appointed-to-help-sell-Dubai-World-assets.html